One more thing...
Dyngus Plus Balls, especially me, loves to hate on French Canadians. We don't ACTUALLY dislike French Canadians, we just like to pretend we do (in your free time, look for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in Montreal on You Tube.)
Anyway, I come by this honestly, as many of you know that my father recently said, at the dinner table, "Look, I'm not saying that I hate the French, I'm just saying that, if I went to Montreal, I might have to kick some ass."
Anyway, Autumn has long been proud of her Canadian (British Columbian, tea-loving, Cougar fearing) heritage. When she moved here last month, though, her father gave me the greatest birthday gift of all. We were talking about her grandmother and Doug (Autumn's dad) casually mentioned that Autumn's grandfather was FRENCH CANADIAN.
I still almost hyperventilate just thinking about the sheer joy of it all.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Dyngus Reunion Tour and Polterwang
First, a lesson. Dyngus is most widely understood to be the state of Andrea, Autumn and I all being in the same geographic location, a great meeting of the minds, but is also the name for Easter Monday in Poland. To wit (and thank you Wikipedia!):
Dyngus Day or Wet Monday (Polish Śmigus-dyngus or Lany Poniedziałek) is the name for Easter Monday in Poland. In the Czech Republic it is called Velikonoční pondělí or Pomlázka. Both countries practice a unique custom on this day.
In Poland, traditionally, early in the morning boys awake girls by pouring a bucket of water on their head and striking them about the legs with long thin twigs or switches made from willow, birch or decorated tree branches (palmy wielkanocne); however, the earliest documented records of Dyngus Day in Poland are from the 15th century, almost half a millennium after Poland adopted Christianity.
Dyngus discovered the existence of this tradition sometime early in our 20s. Mostly we just liked the idea of a holiday where people run around slapping people's legs with pussywillows. A great tradition was born.
Dyngus is a little like Fight Club lite: We can talk about it, but don't really elaborate on his laws and customs. Suffice it to say that there are few things one can do to be evicted from the State of Dyngus, but there are frequent judge's rulings on issues of contention, e.g. "Judge's Ruling: Robyn is an Asshole."
With too-rare exceptions in the form of weekend visits, Dyngus had not convened since August 2003, upon our return from an International Tour in Scotland. As you can imagine, we were most pleased and excited when Autumn made the move to Lawrence this month and Dyngus reunited permanently for the first time since 1996. I know you are all excited too. In celebration of this extraordinary event, we decided to go on a Dyngus Reunion Tour, celebrating Dyngus as well as Andrea's 3oth birthday.
We went over the 4th of July weekend. Our first order of business was to officially discuss and determine a role for Ben, who committed to supporting Dyngus when he married me in October.
We had to have a new name.
When Ben is in residence, we are "Dyngus Plus Balls."
We headed to The Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We chose The Crescent because it is a haunted hotel, having once been a hospital of sorts, that was featured on an episode of Ghosthunters. My friendship with Andrea and my many nights at her house has opened my mind to the possibility of spirits in the afterlife that stick around, although, with one exception, my exposure to these spirits has largely been limited to the presence of Polterwang, to be described later.
Some highlights and lowlights of our trip:
We ate in Nevada, Missouri at a place called The Cowboy Grill which offered chicken fried chicken (highlight), only to be informed that they were out of gravy (lowlight);
My fellow road-trippers allowed me to listen to three Celine Dion songs on the road trip (highlight, naturally);
The weather was gorgeous and Eureka Springs wasn't nearly as hillbilly as I'd imagined (highlight);
Still, Eureka Springs was hillbilly enough for me to feel comfortable, e.g. signs that said "Pete's Car Wash: Free Hand Job";
They had rocking chairs on the porch (highlight) and unlimited bacon on the breakfast buffet (major highlight);
There is a giant statue of Jesus, called "Christ of the Ozarks" that turned its head to look at me (highlight) but also had boobs (lowlight);
Andrea became overly excited in the glass slag pit of the gift shop and almost severly cut herself (lowlight);
I made that last bit up, mostly, but she was excited (highlight);
Our ghost tour guide thanked me for giving him good eye contact and minimal encouragers on the ghost tour (highlight) but refused to tell me the name of one of the ghosts so that I could summon said ghost in the morgue area (lowlight);
Andrea's GPS system, Angelique, tried to make us drive through a house (lowlight) and Autumn thought were were going to be attacked Deliverance-style, which was hilarious (highlight);
I was able to watch a fascinating show on the 50 states on the History Channel (highlight) but primarily caught information about Ohio (lowlight);
When the tour guide described a ghost that grabs people's ankles in the men's bathroom, I made a very clever joke about Larry Craig (highlight) but only Andrea and the tour guide heard me (lowlight, I hate when my comic genius cannot be shared, see: this blog);
Finally, at midnight on July 4th, my two best friends and my husband all wished me a happy birthday, and, since we were all in the same hotel room, it only took me tour hours to fall asleep, what with the fear of being attacked by ghosts.
In the end, other than getting a creepy feeling a bunch in the hotel, getting a picture of "orbs" that may or may not have simply been my boobs, and Andrea and Ben's insistence that a phantom made the papertowel dispenser dispense an extra towel independent from human movement, the only supernatural activity discovered on the reunion tour was the constant threat of Polterwang, or the effect of appearing to have a boner, (trust me, this is mostly Andrea) when you are female and generally boner-less. At least we think she's boner-less, but still a boner, no doubt.
Strangely, this phantom follows Andrea everywhere she goes.
Go gently, Andrea and her Polterwang, go gently.
Love,
Robyn
Dyngus Day or Wet Monday (Polish Śmigus-dyngus or Lany Poniedziałek) is the name for Easter Monday in Poland. In the Czech Republic it is called Velikonoční pondělí or Pomlázka. Both countries practice a unique custom on this day.
In Poland, traditionally, early in the morning boys awake girls by pouring a bucket of water on their head and striking them about the legs with long thin twigs or switches made from willow, birch or decorated tree branches (palmy wielkanocne); however, the earliest documented records of Dyngus Day in Poland are from the 15th century, almost half a millennium after Poland adopted Christianity.
Dyngus discovered the existence of this tradition sometime early in our 20s. Mostly we just liked the idea of a holiday where people run around slapping people's legs with pussywillows. A great tradition was born.
Dyngus is a little like Fight Club lite: We can talk about it, but don't really elaborate on his laws and customs. Suffice it to say that there are few things one can do to be evicted from the State of Dyngus, but there are frequent judge's rulings on issues of contention, e.g. "Judge's Ruling: Robyn is an Asshole."
With too-rare exceptions in the form of weekend visits, Dyngus had not convened since August 2003, upon our return from an International Tour in Scotland. As you can imagine, we were most pleased and excited when Autumn made the move to Lawrence this month and Dyngus reunited permanently for the first time since 1996. I know you are all excited too. In celebration of this extraordinary event, we decided to go on a Dyngus Reunion Tour, celebrating Dyngus as well as Andrea's 3oth birthday.
We went over the 4th of July weekend. Our first order of business was to officially discuss and determine a role for Ben, who committed to supporting Dyngus when he married me in October.
We had to have a new name.
When Ben is in residence, we are "Dyngus Plus Balls."
We headed to The Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We chose The Crescent because it is a haunted hotel, having once been a hospital of sorts, that was featured on an episode of Ghosthunters. My friendship with Andrea and my many nights at her house has opened my mind to the possibility of spirits in the afterlife that stick around, although, with one exception, my exposure to these spirits has largely been limited to the presence of Polterwang, to be described later.
Some highlights and lowlights of our trip:
We ate in Nevada, Missouri at a place called The Cowboy Grill which offered chicken fried chicken (highlight), only to be informed that they were out of gravy (lowlight);
My fellow road-trippers allowed me to listen to three Celine Dion songs on the road trip (highlight, naturally);
The weather was gorgeous and Eureka Springs wasn't nearly as hillbilly as I'd imagined (highlight);
Still, Eureka Springs was hillbilly enough for me to feel comfortable, e.g. signs that said "Pete's Car Wash: Free Hand Job";
They had rocking chairs on the porch (highlight) and unlimited bacon on the breakfast buffet (major highlight);
There is a giant statue of Jesus, called "Christ of the Ozarks" that turned its head to look at me (highlight) but also had boobs (lowlight);
Andrea became overly excited in the glass slag pit of the gift shop and almost severly cut herself (lowlight);
I made that last bit up, mostly, but she was excited (highlight);
Our ghost tour guide thanked me for giving him good eye contact and minimal encouragers on the ghost tour (highlight) but refused to tell me the name of one of the ghosts so that I could summon said ghost in the morgue area (lowlight);
Andrea's GPS system, Angelique, tried to make us drive through a house (lowlight) and Autumn thought were were going to be attacked Deliverance-style, which was hilarious (highlight);
I was able to watch a fascinating show on the 50 states on the History Channel (highlight) but primarily caught information about Ohio (lowlight);
When the tour guide described a ghost that grabs people's ankles in the men's bathroom, I made a very clever joke about Larry Craig (highlight) but only Andrea and the tour guide heard me (lowlight, I hate when my comic genius cannot be shared, see: this blog);
Finally, at midnight on July 4th, my two best friends and my husband all wished me a happy birthday, and, since we were all in the same hotel room, it only took me tour hours to fall asleep, what with the fear of being attacked by ghosts.
In the end, other than getting a creepy feeling a bunch in the hotel, getting a picture of "orbs" that may or may not have simply been my boobs, and Andrea and Ben's insistence that a phantom made the papertowel dispenser dispense an extra towel independent from human movement, the only supernatural activity discovered on the reunion tour was the constant threat of Polterwang, or the effect of appearing to have a boner, (trust me, this is mostly Andrea) when you are female and generally boner-less. At least we think she's boner-less, but still a boner, no doubt.
Strangely, this phantom follows Andrea everywhere she goes.
Go gently, Andrea and her Polterwang, go gently.
Love,
Robyn
30 Years
Howdy!
Just back from two weeks (mostly) away and, having played catch up at the office, ready to regale you all with tales of my adventures. But first...
I just want to thank you all for what proved to be a super fabulous birthday. Whether it was a phone message wishing me a happy birthday, a thoughtful email wishing me a lovely day, gifts that prove you really know me (thanks, Nadine, Lindsey and Brandon, Caitlin, Cristin and Diane), or lovely cards that now reside in a place of pride on the dining room table, I felt really loved, and thank you all for that, as it is the best gift of all, is it not?
I got this (approximate, from memory) message from Caitilin, Cristin and Diane, and I think they said it best:
"What to get you for your 3oth birthday? You already have a handsome hubby, a hysterically funny family, gorgeous friends, and a rockin' degree, so what else is there to get you? Cheese--glorious cheese, with funny names and even funnier smells..."
A membership to the Cheese of the Month Club. Genius. It started with three glorious cheeses that ARRIVED ON MY DOORSTEP like they had been delivered by the Cheese Fairy. It was a miracle. A delicious, delicious miracle. A week later I am still basking in the joy of Jarlsberg.
Thanks, all, it was truly a very, very happy birthday.
Love You,
Robyn
Just back from two weeks (mostly) away and, having played catch up at the office, ready to regale you all with tales of my adventures. But first...
I just want to thank you all for what proved to be a super fabulous birthday. Whether it was a phone message wishing me a happy birthday, a thoughtful email wishing me a lovely day, gifts that prove you really know me (thanks, Nadine, Lindsey and Brandon, Caitlin, Cristin and Diane), or lovely cards that now reside in a place of pride on the dining room table, I felt really loved, and thank you all for that, as it is the best gift of all, is it not?
I got this (approximate, from memory) message from Caitilin, Cristin and Diane, and I think they said it best:
"What to get you for your 3oth birthday? You already have a handsome hubby, a hysterically funny family, gorgeous friends, and a rockin' degree, so what else is there to get you? Cheese--glorious cheese, with funny names and even funnier smells..."
A membership to the Cheese of the Month Club. Genius. It started with three glorious cheeses that ARRIVED ON MY DOORSTEP like they had been delivered by the Cheese Fairy. It was a miracle. A delicious, delicious miracle. A week later I am still basking in the joy of Jarlsberg.
Thanks, all, it was truly a very, very happy birthday.
Love You,
Robyn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
