Smarty McSmart Pants

I will *try* not to use this blog to alternately mock/enthusiastically praise my husband, but I wanted to say a few words about his smarts.

Ben decided to go back to school after a lukewarm semester of college in the 90s. When we were first dating, he'd mentioned to me that he'd always fancied the idea of being a social worker, and I pretended to listen while I thought about how dreamy his eyes are. When he moved to Georgia, he attended an orientation day for prospective undergraduates at UGA, and came home feeling dejected and very frustrated. There are many things that I appreciate about my alma mater, but their skills for catering to non-traditional students are not one of them.

As a doctoral student, my anxiety and burgeoning OCD took center stage, and Ben worked at a local coffee shop to bring home the bacon, or, in this case, the free coffee. I was and am very grateful. My husband, then boyfriend, was bored out of his gourd for about three years, though, suffering 4:45 a.m. alarm bells, rude customers, a wildly hypocritical boss, and a revolving door of "I'm sure my band is the next Neutral Milk Hotel" wannabees who invested more in their drug habits than their work ethic or hygeine. That said, for what the boss paid them, I could hardly blame them.

That said additionally, there were a number of amazing people who graced our lives as a result of Ben's time with the beans, namely Seth, Trish, Tyler, Jesse...but I digress....

The upside of Ben's inertia in the coffee world is that it encouraged him to write again, and to take up photography. To hear me tell it, he was a local legend, music critic extraordinaire. To hear everyone else tell it, he was a true fan, with an honest, even-handed criticism of the local music scene that benefitted everyone involved (even that toolbag who wrote him a nasty letter, implying that Ben's lukewarm review of his latest album rendered him "unable to put food on the table for (his) young daughter." Like I said, toolbag. Ben's article and, eventually, photographs were thoughtful, well-executed, and great promotion for struggling, talented bands. Basically, he did it with integrity, and I was so proud of him. Other people noticed, too, and when we left Athens, friends from that part of our life gave him a killer send off, including a beautiful rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" that I still wish I had a recording of.

I should of known from that alone that Ben didn't mess around with his pursuits.

When we moved to Lawrence and I neared completion of my program, Ben decided it was time to give it another go. He started with Introduction to Psychology and I still remember him dragging along a huge textbook on one of our trips south during that first semester. Ben's a sophomore now, still plugging away at our local community college, anticipating a transfer to KU next year, and wowing us all with a 4.0 and a composition paper deemed strong enough for publication. On Sunday nights when his wife pitches a fit about wanting to watch crime dramas on TV, he quietly and patiently advocates for the quiet, and studies when the rest of his world is having a leisurely time.

Here's where I'm impressed: When I was in college, I knew I was fortunate, and I think I used that opportunity pretty fully. Still, my work ethic and my maturity as a student was about 1/8th of what Ben has demonstrated; there are no 2 a.m. starts to papers, last minute emails claiming that something has rendered it impossible for him to be in class today, or classes slept through because he stayed up too late calling 1-800-HOTT-ASS just to see what would happen. (And yes, Kate and I tried nearly all of these types of combinations we could come up with, and most led where you might expect.)

He's making the most of this experience, because he gets what a privilege it is to do what we love.

Now that's smart.