“La Hoss” is my new nickname. It stems from my regular use of “Hoss” in addressing the students these last couple of weeks, e.g. “I’m not sure why you think this excursion is optional, Hoss.” I’m living a fun continua; I have a few students who don’t feel comfortable calling me Robyn and persist with the Dr. Long, many who have adjusted to Robyn, and a few who call me “La Hoss” or something equally inappropriate to call one’s professor. I love it.
Thursday is goodbye students. While there have been a few moments in which I’ve looked forward to this day with enthusiasm, (“Do you have our papers graded yet”) I am feeling very sad about it. They have been a fun, enthusiastic group, and their excitement about returning home is being tempered by sadness about the end of the adventure; I know that feeling well. It invites a great deal of nostalgia on my part, and I wish them the full experience. I remember crying over Shannon’s “pig brownies” as I left Edinburgh in 2003, lying in my folks’ backyard in Wichita to try to keep my tan that summer and feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere in the world, and pulling over on a road trip in 1998 because I was crying so hard when Green Day’s “Time of your Life” came on the radio.
What has struck me with this trip has been the way I feel about going home this time; in 2003, I had to drag myself back. This time, (once I’ve had my fill of friends, pesto and white wine in Italy) I’m looking forward to going home. My once-held anti-American views, (I remember telling a classmate in my doctoral program that, “Basically everything in Scotland is better”) have tempered into a deep appreciation for BOTH worlds. I keep telling my students that they will appreciate home more as a result of this trip and it’s happening for me: Lawrence feels like home. Lawrence is home.
There is a lot of fun to go back to, admittedly. Baby girls Hadley and Carly will need holding. Wilcox and I have a big day of canning salsa and homemade spaghetti sauce planned, and I’m desperate for the magic that is the Lawrence Farmer’s Market. I miss our Lawrence friends, who have had their own adventures this summer. I get to host FOUR showers in the next three months and you know I love hosting showers. Nadine and Matt are getting hitched, and my Georgia family will be in town for said event, and I cannot wait to see them. I’m counting on a night when Dad and Matt will grill and Mom will make her potato salad. Andrea and David have moved into their new place, which reunites Dyngus. Ben and I have already decided that we are having our first meal back in Lawrence at Cielito Lindo. We move into a new place. We go back to school. Life marches on, and it is a good life. Mostly, I’m ready to see the people I love.
I will miss this, though, very much. I’ll miss Esme, Shan, Steve and Cals. I’ll miss all this free time to talk to Ben. I’ll miss the proximity of the art that I’ve been able to see. I’ll miss the BBC, the Scots, the students and teaching history. I’ll miss looking out my window towards a castle, and waking up in Edinburgh. I’ll miss the cool weather. A lot.
Will keep you posted when possible—the Tallahassee crew arrive in two days, and, after what will undoubtedly be a great five days in Edinburgh, we wing to Italy, to the Cinque Terre, to the pesto, wine and cheese, to the agriturismo, to hysterical laughter, to Kate, John, Nico and Paul. Woo hoo!
Love,
Robyn and Ben
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