Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Catching Up

I took a year off from blogging to work on my six-pack abs. Mixed results.

I’ll catch you up. For the three of you expecting something funny, here’s your cue to bow out gracefully. 2009-2010 was a challenging year. Watching me maneuver thorough some of those challenges offered some darkly comic moments, no doubt, but on the whole I’ve been pretty difficult to live with.

I’ll start with the good stuff. The day we returned home last summer, my folks, Matt, Andrea and David helped us move into our new place. The neighborhood isn’t as posh, but the rent is better, and my Dad has co-opted the ground floor of the house as his suite during visits. I’m glad to have a place where my folks are more comfortable, the gas bill is lower, and my feet don’t get hypothermia instantly when I walk across the kitchen floor in the winter. I do miss our daffodils, though, and our elderly neighbor who took such loving care of her yard.

The day after we moved, we took a five-day trip to Toronto upon our return for the American Psychological Association’s annual meeting. Most of this time was a jet-lagged, post-Europe blur save for a day we rented a car and drove to Niagara-on-the-Lake. We stayed above a pie shop, see photos to be posted soon, where there were homemade cookies. The cookies stand out. I found out about this place from my Bon Appetit magazine, which made me feel incredibly cool, naturally.

Just after school started back, Wilcox and I successfully canned Barbara Kingsolver’s spaghetti sauce (30 pounds of tomatoes for $10, thank you Lawrence Farmers Market) and Pioneer Woman’s strawberry jam. On the same day, I made bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers for a karaoke party, and figured out that I am half Julia Child, half ninja.

Matt and Nadine got married. Really, you should ask them what they thought of their nuptials, but this is my blog and I loved them, especially the rehearsal dinner (cheese balls & laughter), and all the time with our family. After the ceremony, the wedding party got to take a two-hour trolley ride around Old Town in Wichita, and that was pretty entertaining (you’d have to ask Ben how much jaegermeister and champagne he drank) as well. I also remember spending much of the reception drawing mustaches on my index finger with my cousins and cracking up. We are all in our thirties and take ourselves very seriously. Nadine is totally amazing, by the way.

Andrea and David got married, too. We took a ghost tour for their joint bachelor/bachelorette party, where CatDaddy got his nickname. We did not see any ghosts, but did learn that much of the city of Atchison, Kansas smells like fart, and, speaking of farts, Andrea and David’s wedding was beautiful. I cried like a baby throughout the ceremony, rediscovered green goddess salad dressing at their rehearsal dinner, and had lots of fun with my folks, Dyngus, and Doug Lee Fresh, Autumn’s Dad. On our way home we checked out the I-House in Springfield, Missouri and explored Bass Pro Shop. It was dangerous in there, but fortunately I found some 3-D camouflage. Autumn, CatDaddy and Ben let me listen to Celine Dion twice on the road trip, too.

In November, Kate, John, Nico and Paul moved to Kansas, which is amazing. One Saturday I got to have lunch with Pete, Airz and Kate, and the circle was complete.

We spent Christmas in Wichita, and New Year in Georgia, seeing the holiday lights with my whole family at Callaway Gardens, and ringing in the New Year with a decadent meal, my cousins, Matt, Nadine, Peggy, Justin, The Tallahassee Ladies, and a drink that Justin invented called a “Foggy Butthole.” After a crazy fall semester, time with this lot was just what I needed, and, on New Year’s Day, Ben left for India for two weeks, Peggy and I bought three dozen Krispy Kream donuts for six people, and I spent the day napping on a deflated air mattress while Justin played “Call of Duty.” Awesome. I had three days with my Grandmother, just us, too, which was wonderful.

We had lots of good nights courtesy of our friend Carrie, a thriving book club, a five-day trip to New York in March, for a special topics course I taught on social justice, and Zach Galifianakis and Betty White hosted Saturday Night Live. Mom retired, my parents celebrated 40 years of marriage, A.J. visited for a long weekend, and we had lots of good nights with Hadley and The Carlson Crew. We visited Georgia for a week in late May to see family, friends and Rebecca get married in true Southern style, I hosted five showers for people I love, and life has been very full.

So having reflected on that, I’m feeling a bit better. Let’s just wallow in the misery, anyway, what say we?

KU basketball really sucked it up in March and Greenberg is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Of equal importance, I really overextended myself this year; I taught too many courses, and only figured out in March that it wasn’t what everyone else was doing (for you teaching types, I taught 6 and 6 this year, TOO MANY.) I never felt like I had the time for my students, my husband, our friends, not to mention myself, that I needed. I ate McDonald’s fast food at least a dozen times, and drank too much caffeine. I left the practice I was working with and established my own, which has largely been a good thing, but it was difficult at the time. I broke my rule of no more than 14 clients a week, in my panic about being “on my own” in the practice, and disappointed myself in the process. I let too many students into my courses, and then resented the time it took to grade so many exams. I didn’t call the people I love enough, I wondered around the Emporia grocery store late at night for dinner, I passed, but panicked, about my licensure exam, and I have generally been resentful and sullen much more than I care to be. I found that I preferred to be alone a bit too much. A couple of times, I sat in my car trying to shore up the energy to do the next thing, even if the next thing was supposed to be fun. In hindsight, I think I was a bit depressed.

I have spent, however, three weeks now in Scotland, and as many months in reflection, and am chalking this year up as a learning experience. I’m still reflecting on what I’ve learned, though, and will keep you posted as I figure it out.

So far I’ve learned: 1. I should not eat meals in my car, 2. I should not be on my cell phone when I get home at the end of the week and stay on the phone while I greet Ben, 3. Ben is seemingly endlessly patient and loving, but I don’t want to push it, 4. Scotland is good for my skin, 5. My parents, grandmother, Aunt, etc…are very wise and I should listen to them, 6. Sleep is really, really important, 7. My friends and family are very patient and 8. I have limits, big time.

Outside of the ab work keeping me from blogging, I think I needed these three weeks to sleep, stare at my husband, walk, and be alone in a chosen, meaningful way, not just out of sheer exhaustion. I had an afternoon walk along the Water of Leith on my own, time with Esme and Shan, a super-fun G.T.A. for this program, and my old friend, Edinburgh, to help me out.

I feel better.

Spain and Morocco are on the horizon, as are Jodi’s wedding, San Diego, canning with friends, Annual Retreat and Erica’s wedding, so lots to look forward to.

In the meantime, I’m going to try to focus on the present. Wish me luck, and thanks for listening. Photos soon.

4 comments:

Autumn said...

I love you.
Airz

Rachael (Campbell) Suchara said...

Well, I was going to post a comment like "HEY! Yer FUNNY! And I like cookies too!" but then Autumn went and said something sweet and lovely. So, um, yeah. I wish we were closer together so we could, like, HANG. And I wish I had some Spain/Morocco travel advice, but I don't. Except: DON'T GO TO MELILLA. And avoid grilled baby squid unless you also enjoy aspics.

Unknown said...

wow. so now i have to say something sweet and/or lovely, plus give travel advice. ok- watch out for dudes feeding their dogs with their own shit. and now for the advice... ok. ok. seriously, when you write everything down like that it makes me realize that i am lucky i get to spend anytime with you at all. you have such a full (stress on the word full) joyous life and i happy to be a part of it. amigas para siempre.

B J C said...

Oh, Friend...

As usual, you sum it all up so well. You are a blessing to all those who encounter you and I am glad to read that your time away has been a time filled with restoration and reflection (and, by the way, your children will love ANY and ALL cheese).

Love you, Linds